Our Guide to Wakes
A wake can be one of the most heartfelt moments in saying goodbye. It offers a space not just for grief, but for warmth, remembrance and connection. For many, it’s a chance to celebrate a loved one’s life surrounded by those who knew them best — a time to reflect, share stories and begin healing, together.
Whether you’re arranging something traditional or envisioning a more modern gathering, planning a wake doesn’t need to feel overwhelming. With the right guidance and support, it can become a deeply meaningful part of the farewell.
The Purpose of a Wake
The tradition of the wake goes back centuries, often rooted in religious and cultural customs where family and friends would come together to keep vigil before a person’s burial. These gatherings were once solemn occasions, marked by prayer, reflection and community.
While the customs have evolved, the heart of the wake remains the same — to honour someone’s life and bring people together in comfort and remembrance. Today, wakes are often held after the funeral service and can take many forms. Some may still prefer a quiet, traditional gathering, while others might opt for a more informal event full of music, laughter and personal touches. There is no right or wrong way — only what feels right for the person being remembered and those saying goodbye.
Choosing the Right Setting
The atmosphere of a wake is often shaped by its surroundings. Some families feel most at ease holding a wake at home, where the familiarity of the space can offer a sense of closeness and calm. For others, the practicality and support of an external venue makes things a little easier during a difficult time.
Community halls or local centres provide flexible spaces that can be tailored to suit different sizes and styles of gathering. A favourite pub or hotel function room can lend a more relaxed and sociable feel, often with the added convenience of on-site catering. And for those seeking a more private or structured arrangement, funeral homes with reception facilities can provide a calm and respectful environment.
Whatever the choice, the most important thing is that it feels right for you, your family and the memory of the person you’re honouring.
Creating a Meaningful Experience
A wake doesn’t need to be elaborate to be meaningful. In fact, some of the most touching moments come from the simplest gestures. A table of cherished photographs, a playlist of favourite song or a quiet corner where guests can write down memories — these are the little things that can bring great comfort.
Some families choose to include short speeches or informal tributes, allowing friends and relatives to speak from the heart. Others prefer a more reflective setting, where conversation flows naturally over tea and cake. What matters most is that the gathering feels personal — a true reflection of the life lived and the people who loved them.
Catering can be as modest or as extensive as you wish. Whether it’s a homemade spread, a traditional afternoon tea, or a light buffet arranged through a local caterer, the focus is on hospitality and warmth. Sharing food and drink together can be a source of great comfort, offering moments of togetherness and even smiles in the midst of sorrow.
Balancing Cost and Care
We understand that cost is an important consideration for many families. The good news is that a meaningful wake doesn’t need to be expensive. A gathering at home with homemade food can be just as special as one held in a hired venue with professional catering.
If you’re planning within a budget, it can help to focus on the aspects that matter most — perhaps a space that feels welcoming, a few special photographs and enough refreshments to make guests feel looked after. At C V Gower, we offer gentle guidance and practical suggestions to help you find the right balance between cost and care, always with transparency and respect for your wishes.
Making the Day Comfortable for Everyone
Hosting a wake is, at its heart, about creating a safe and comforting space for others. There’s no pressure to make it perfect. Some people find it helpful to ask a close friend or family member to help with the day’s logistics, so they can focus on being present with guests.
It’s also worth considering how you’d like the gathering to flow. You might prefer a quiet drop-in event with no set schedule, or you may choose to have a short welcome or moment of reflection at a particular time. Letting guests know what to expect in advance can help everyone feel at ease, especially older relatives or those travelling from afar.
And of course, it’s okay if things feel emotional or uncertain — that’s part of what makes a wake so human and honest. It’s a space where grief, memory, love and even laughter can all coexist.
How C V Gower Funeral Directors Can Help
At C V Gower, we know how much thought and emotion go into planning a farewell. That’s why we’re here to offer gentle, practical support with wake arrangements, helping families throughout North Somerset create gatherings that truly reflect their loved one’s life.
Whether you’re looking for a local venue, need help arranging catering or simply want to talk through your ideas with someone who understands, we’re here to listen and guide you with care. Our team can recommend trusted venues and suppliers, assist with the finer details and ensure the wake flows smoothly so that you can focus on being with your loved ones.
A Thoughtful Goodbye
In the end, a wake is about more than just planning; it’s about honouring someone’s life in a way that feels true to who they were. It’s a space to share stories, shed tears and find warmth in the company of others. Whether it’s a traditional gathering or something uniquely personal, the most important thing is that it brings comfort, connection and a sense of peace.
If you’re considering a wake and would like some support or guidance, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with our team. We’re here to help you every step of the way — with empathy, experience and a commitment to making every goodbye a meaningful one.