What do Pallbearers do?
When planning a funeral, many families come across roles they may not have encountered before. One of the most touching, and sometimes misunderstood, is that of the pallbearer. It’s a role that carries both symbolic meaning and a practical responsibility, and for those asked to take part, it can feel like both an honour and a challenge.
In this article, we explore what it means to be a pallbearer, where the tradition comes from and what someone can expect when carrying out this final act of love and care. Whether you’re arranging a funeral or have been invited to be a pallbearer yourself, this guide is here to offer reassurance and clarity at a time when it’s often needed most.
The Meaning Behind the Role
The word pallbearer originates from the cloth – or pall – that traditionally covered a coffin. Those who carried the coffin, or in some cases the pall itself, became known as pallbearers. Over time, the term evolved to refer to the people who escort or carry the coffin during a funeral service.
It’s a role steeped in symbolism. Whether the person is physically lifting the coffin or walking alongside it, the act represents a final journey shared with the loved one who has died; it is a gesture of deep respect, affection and remembrance.
While it has long been seen as a role for male family members, today, the role is open to anyone. Close friends, siblings, children, colleagues or professional staff may all be invited to carry or accompany the coffin, depending on the family’s wishes. There is no one way to honour someone at their funeral; what matters is that the act feels personal and sincere.
What Pallbearers Do During the Funeral
Pallbearers are typically involved in moving the coffin during key moments of the funeral. This usually includes carrying or escorting the coffin from the hearse into the venue where the service is held – such as a church, chapel or crematorium – and then again afterwards, either to the cremation area or, in the case of a burial, to the graveside.
Depending on the setting, pallbearers may lift the coffin on their shoulders, which is often seen in more traditional services, or carry it at waist height using handles. Some venues use wheeled biers, allowing pallbearers to guide the coffin without lifting it, which can be helpful in certain circumstances.
Although the physical involvement may only last a few minutes, the emotional experience can be lasting. For many, it becomes a significant and meaningful part of their farewell.
Choosing Pallbearers: Who Can Take on the Role?
Families often choose six pallbearers, though four or even eight may be appropriate depending on the type of coffin and arrangements. It’s a deeply personal decision. Some families choose people who had a close emotional bond with the person who has died. Others may select those who are physically able and willing to assist.
At C V Gower Funeral Directors, we recognise that not everyone feels able to take on the role. It may be too emotionally overwhelming, or physically challenging, especially for older relatives or those living with health conditions. In these cases, we can provide professional pallbearers who fulfil the role with great care, ensuring your loved one is treated with the utmost dignity and respect.
And for those who do wish to be involved but are unsure what it entails, we’re always on hand to offer quiet, compassionate guidance in advance and on the day itself.
What to Expect as a Pallbearer
Understandably, many people feel nervous about carrying the coffin. It’s not something most of us do often—or ever—and it carries emotional as well as physical weight. But those invited to be pallbearers are not expected to know everything in advance.
On the day of the funeral, our team will guide you through what’s expected, offering clear and gentle instruction on how to lift and walk in step. There’s no need to rush; funeral processions are slow and considered, reflecting the solemnity of the moment. If you’re unsure at any stage, it’s perfectly acceptable to quietly check in with those around you or our staff, who will be nearby to assist.
The coffin itself is usually heavy, but when shared between four or six people and handled with care, it’s manageable. More importantly, your presence and intent matter far more than your strength. Just being there, accompanying your loved one with steadiness and care, is enough.
It’s also natural to feel emotional. For some, being a pallbearer is a moment of deep reflection. For others, it may stir unexpected feelings of sadness or pride. However you respond, there is no right or wrong. Grief has no set path, and your role in the day should feel meaningful, not pressured.
If You’re Unable to Be a Pallbearer
Not everyone can – or wants to – take on the role, and that’s completely okay. There are many other ways to honour someone during a funeral. You might prefer to give a reading or eulogy, choose music that reflects your loved one’s life or help create a memory display or photo tribute.
Even simply walking beside the hearse, lighting a candle during the service or placing a flower on the coffin can be a beautiful way to show your love and respect. Every contribution matters, no matter how visible or formal it may be.
What’s most important is that you find a way to say goodbye that feels authentic to your relationship and your emotions at that moment.
We’re Here To Support You
At C V Gower, we understand how meaningful the role of pallbearer can be, and how overwhelming it may feel at times. Whether you know exactly who you’d like to carry the coffin or need a little help deciding, we’re here to support you.
We offer practical advice on what to expect, guidance for those taking on the role, and, where needed, experienced team members who can act as pallbearers on your behalf. We’ll make sure you’re not alone in the process, and that everything is carried out with dignity, thoughtfulness, and the utmost respect for your loved one.
Funeral arrangements can feel daunting, but they don’t have to be faced alone. With care, conversation and a little planning, it’s possible to create a farewell that feels just right for you and your family. Get in touch with us to discuss your arrangements.